So, I met this guy...

A classic quote from Jill. I was reminded of it when I found the quote wall from freshmen year. Wow that seems forever ago sometimes. I'm starting this entry off with that quote because I think it's a pretty good description of my summer. Well, not exactly since I knew Jacob before this summer, but it still works. Another one I thought about using was the classic, "life is what happens while you're making other plans" but it was just to cliche. This entry may turn out to be kind of long and rambly, but it's my entry about everything that has happened to me over the past couple months, what I've been thinking about, and what I've learned. So there is a lot of that.

There are a few things in life that I really don't like doing. I don't know what I'm necessarily bad at them, but I don't trust myself to be able to do them well. Then include, making big decisions, changing my plans, being patient, trusting completely in the Lord, dealing well with stress, asking other people about what I need to do with my life, that sort of thing. It seems that the Lord felt I needed to grow up this summer and learn how to handle such things, because he seems to have been teaching me about them on a daily basis.

Jacob and I started dating towards the very end of June, and before too long it was clear that he was special and important part of my life, and I didn't want to lose him. But, I was going on a mission, that was my plan. And I don't change plans. But, for the first time in years my heart wanted something else as much as it wanted a mission, and I faced weeks of pondering, indecision, and uncertainty. I think my heart made the decision to stay long before my head would let me admit it to myself, but eventually my heart and head agreed. I was staying, and my mission will have to wait.

The answer on what I should decide in that case came a lot faster than I expected it to. But as soon as it was made, I faced another decision. Stick to the plan and move home, or try and find a way to stay in Provo? Then thrown into the mix was the option of trying to take classes, or just finding a job off of campus? And where would I find a place to live if I did stay in Provo? And where could I find a job, whether I moved home or not I still needed to find one.

All of these questions were running marathons in my head as last week started and from there the week only became more stressful. I found that the classes I needed did have openings, but how would I find a way to pay for them? I decided I wanted to try and stay in Provo, but where would I live? As the week passed, one day I would feel that I had an answer, a solution, and the next day it would come crashing down around me, and nothing seemed to be working. I experienced an emotional roller coaster unlike any I've ever been on before and by Thursday evening I found myself at a breaking point. I fell to pieces and bawled to my mom. I felt like I wasn't getting any answers. I didn't even know if I was supposed to be finding a way to stay in Provo or not. And if I was supposed to stay, how was I supposed to find way to make it all work?

Right now I'm sitting in my apartment, in Provo. Jacob is here with me, and I didn't' even have to change buildings. I can take out a loan to pay for classes, and may even get my half tuition scholarship rewarded to me by virtue of a petition recommended by my financial aid advisor. Everything has worked out and I'm surrounded by a feeling of peace and happiness that was nearly impossibly to find last week. But looking back I can realize how much I did learn as I went through that difficult time.

I've been forced to make a lot of decisions this summer, to seek a lot of answers on what I should do, and I've learned to recognize when the Lord is answering my questions. But I've also learned to recognize that sometimes the Lord needs us to figure things out on our own. Sometimes that make you feel as if the Lord has abandoned you, or maybe he just doesn't care. I'll admit that I started to feel that way last week. But once I got a handle on my emotions I realized that the Lord was helping me to grow. I had to take care of my own problems now, so that I'll know how to take care of them in the future.

This summer the Lord also taught me it's okay to change my plans. I've done that a lot this summer, it even started before Jacob became such a big part of my life. It's okay to rearrange things, as long as you're sure that your plans are what the Lord wants them to be.

I don't think I'll ever be perfectly patient, but I've learned a lot about that too. In the end, everything worked out for the best, and I couldn't' be happier. Halfway through the week I ran out patience, and it was then that I found myself at the breaking point. But the Lord is always in charge, and everything will work out. Sometimes you just have to wait for his time table.

I also had the opportunity last week to learn more about the priesthood. I had two separate blessings last week, from two amazing priesthood holders that I appreciate having in my life. I know that the priesthood is real. The promises that were made to me came true, and as long as I held to them, I was able to keep myself calm and feel at peace. I'm so grateful that I have so many worth priesthood holders in my life, that I can be blessed by those I love.

I've also learned a lot about the power of pure love this last week. Some people may find my crazy for it, but I knew I loved Jacob after only a few weeks of dating him. But I've been able to prove the strength of that love to myself as I have found myself creating situations of stress and indecision in my life because it would be better for our relationship. I've also learned about the depth of love Jacob has for me. His love and support for me were the only things that kept me going last week. He was a constant source of calm and peace for me when I desperately needed that in my life.

So I guess what I'm saying is I've grown a lot, and I've learned a lot. My life is now heading in a direction I thought I wouldn't get to for years. But apparently the Lord knew who I would need and when I would need him. I'm glad I'm learning to put the Lord in charge of my life, because he does a better job of running it than I ever could. I'm grateful that he loves me enough to give me opportunities to learn and grow and be happy. And I'm also grateful for all my family and friends that have supported me with guidance, advice, prayers, and love as I've faced my recent challenges. I love you all and promise to be there for you when you need me.

Eh?

That was a sound I heard a lot up at my family reunion this year, due to the fact that it's one of the only things my cousin Easton currently says, but he uses it to communicate pretty well.

So, if you couldn't' tell I'm finally getting around to a post about my family reunion.

First off, we were a little small in numbers this year and I missed everyone who wasn't there, but I still had a fantastic time!

We headed up on a Wednesday and arrived that evening at a cabin in Island Park, Idaho. After we got there we had dinner and settled in. Then on Thursday we went to Yellowstone!! I have never actually been there before (lame I know, I only live like 4 hours away) so I was pretty excited about that. The scenery was beautiful and it was great to be there. But to make it even better, I was there with my family, AND Abby came up with this hilarious game that was competition between vehicles. Each vehicle had to complete certain missions, and we ended up with some pretty entertaining pictures and videos. We also went swimming in the Firehole River where Clark and Deanna's family have been before. There is a part where the river narrows between some cliffs and the current is fast enough that it forms a kind of chute that you can jump into. It may sound a little dangerous, but you only stay under water for like a second and then it's just a fun ride for a bit down the river. That was a lot of fun.

Friday we went to Big Springs for a bit for some sight seeing, particularly to see some HUGE fish. Most of the day though we just lounged around the cabin and played games. We did however make homemade ice cream, by hand!. That meant taking bags with the ingredients, sticking them in bigger bags full of ice and salt, and shaking for like 10-15 minutes. And believe me, your hands get freezing cold! But the ice cream is delicious, especially with toppings, and therefore worth it. We played games that night as always, and just enjoyed each other's company. Saturday morning we cleaned and packed up and headed out. It may have been a short trip, and we did miss those who couldn't come, but as always it was great to just spend some time relaxing and having fun with my family. Ahh...I love them lots. yay for family! And for family reunions.

Evelyn Ann Crooks

Sorry that I'm a little behind on my posting. I have plenty to write about, but of course that also means I don't have as much time. I'll catch up eventually, that's a promise. But to tide you over, I bring you a post all about the most beautiful baby in the world. Of course, she's my new niece so I'm a little biased.

Sunday morning 2 am I get a text from Sarah: Hey, we're at the hospital, so expect some good news in the morning!

9 am: I find out they might have to do a C section, and I worry all through Relief Society.

However, by the time church is over I know that Evie is here and both she and Sarah are doing fine. Evelyn Ann Crooks was born at 9:41 am on August 9th, 2009. She weighed 6 lbs 10 oz and was 21 inches long.

A little after 1 Heather came and picked me up to go to the hospital, where I got to hold my niece for the first time. She is BEAUTIFUL. And I'm in love with her already. Here are some pictures so you can be too. :)

Haircut

So, my computer is still broken/sick. So Uncle Jon took it home with him to fix it. However, Jacob is awesome and is letting me put my pictures on his computer so that I can put them on facebook and get some one here. YAY!!!

So, this post is just to put up some pictures of my haircut. But stay tuned for an entry about the family reunion.

Here are the pictures for you: