Mawwiage is what bwings us together today...

Okay, first off. I know I'm not getting married today.....but I am getting married in a little over 2 months....64 days to be exact(if my calculations are correct) Whoa that's coming up soon. I feel like I'll never get everything done in time that I need to, so I want time to slow down. But on the other hand...I can't wait to know I'm sealed to Jacob for eternity, so April 30th better get here ASAP.

Anywho...obviously I've been thinking a lot about marriage lately. And for my English 333 class...that is English Novels, we're supposed to be keeping some sort of journal where we just write our thoughts and feelings about what we've been reading. Well, combine those two and your result is the fact that there is marriage EVERYWHERE in every novel we've read so far. I'm not even kidding you. Obviously it's always been there, but I never noticed it so much before. What we've read so far is Emma, Jane Eyre, Hard Times, and now we're reading Middlemarch. One of the really interesting things I've found is how often marriage wasn't about love. Which in most cases soon leads to unhappiness which leads to other bad consequences. However, there were some cases where love was the reason for marriage, and those people were happy. They still had trials to face, but they were happy. In our society today, you don't hear about as many marriages based on something besides love. So, I've been thinking....when did people finally realize that love was the way to have a successful and happy marriage? Interesting thought.....

Also, I'm glad that I've been paying attention to what I've learned from the novels, because what I wrote above is something I need to remember: When marriage is built on love, and a willingness to work together and help each other, then no matter what trials you face, you can still be happy. Lately I've been so scared about the future. Getting married is a HUGE change, and I have no idea what to expect. I know Jacob and are going to be really tight on money, I know that we're both going to be really busy with our last year at BYU, and I know that things are going to be really rough. I don't think it's wrong to think about those facts, I need to be prepared to face them. But, I've been letting them take over my mind, and become all I can think about (when I'm not thinking about my piles of homework and reading to do). I've let myself become so scared, that I wasn't enjoying life anymore. I focused more on my fears than on my hopes for the future. Because the truth is, I'm marrying the best man I've ever known. I love him with all of my heart. I have no doubt that he loves me with all of his heart, because he's proved it to me over and over again with his unfailing patience. He can make me smile and laugh when I'm in the worst mood, he makes me happier than I can remember ever being. I could go on and on about how blessed I am to have Jacob in my life, and to be marrying him in 2 months and so many other blessings that I've been given. But I won't, because my point is that I've been forgetting all of that lately. So I'm glad that in writing this "journal entry" for my class that I've had a reminder that despite the trials ahead, I'm going to be happy with Jacob Ross. I know that's true, and I'm looking forward to it.

Now, less of a personal note. Now that I've noticed how prevalent marriage is as a topic in our books, I started thinking about why that was. I think it's because marriage always has been, and always will be, a vital part of society. I've always been taught that in church, but lately it's of course been something talked about in politics and society in general. It's always said that the reason we learn history is because we can learn valuable lessons from it. So, why can't everyone look at the history of the world. Literary works often shed a lot of light on the history of the time they were written in, and so just by taking the few books I've read for one college class, it's easy to see one thing: Marriage is important. That marriage being between a man and a woman. I really don't often speak up about issues like this, but I do have my own opinion. I fully believe that what I've said is true. Marriage has been, and should remain, something that is recognized as the union between a man and a woman. In this form, marriage has played an important role in the history of mankind since the days of Adam and Eve. So, why can't people look at the past and learn that lesson? Who knows?

Anyway, I'm off to class now. Thanks for enduring my rambling. Have a good day!

No puedo esperar más sin tenerte junto a mí

The title is from some lyrics of a Spanish song that I really like...I've discovered a fondness for quite a few Spanish songs.

Also, I really like A Fine Frenzy these days. Sara K. G. and I used to love the song "Almost Lover" but I basically never listened to any other songs until I got bored with the music on my ipod and added some random songs. Like...."The Minnow and the Trout" which it turned out I loved! So, I started paying more attention to all of my songs by A Fine Frenzy. And low and behold, I like all of them. My latest favorite is "Hope for the Hopeless" and the reason I like these songs so much is because I find the lyrics really powerful. I told Jacob I wanted to know more about the music I listen to than just whether I like it or not, so he suggested I look some of it up on Wikipedia. Turns out that A Fine Frenzy is just one person. Go figure, I always thought it was a band. Anyway, her real name is Alison Sudol, and you wanna know why her lyrics are so great? Because she loves to read! She's even planning on writing a children's book after the tradition of books like The Chronicles of Narnia. No wonder I like her so darn much, we are kindred spirits, what with the whole love of the written word thing. So, there's some info for you about my looking into music.

On to other things. I feel like all of my friends are getting married. I'm serious! My friend Mark Amos(one of my best friends in HS) gets married the day after me and Travis Lund(we've been friends since 6th grade) is getting married in March. Amanda Jardine(my roommate last year) got engaged on Saturday, and today I got a text from Kelcey Ovard(we've been friends since 1st grade, and share a birthday!) telling me she got engaged yesterday. I don't know how we all grew up so fast! It's crazy. I'm not complaining at all, I am so happy I'm getting married, and super excited for all of them too, I'm just saying I don't know where the time went.

Another thing...I love Jacob. I'm pretty sure I include that in every post, but I'm so serious, he is the only thing keeping me sane right now. The song that has the lyrics I used for the title is basically someone saying that they don't want to exist or do anything if the person they love isn't with them. Sometimes I feel like I wouldn't be able to function if I didn't' have Jacob in my life right now, so that's why I picked those lyrics.

Finally, sometimes I just get hit by this sudden realization of how lucky I am to have the gospel in my life, how grateful I am to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I had one of those the other day, and I just wanted to share my feelings on here. I can't imagine life without the gospel knowledge that I have. To know that there is a deeper purpose for my life, that I don't just cease to exist after death, and that I can always have my family and those I love with me-- that is a great feeling. Life would not even be worth it to me if I didn't know those things. I wish that somehow everyone could realise how much meaning the gospel can give them. I guess that is why I always wanted to go on a mission. I hope that I can take time to find missionary opportunities in my life, because I want to help others finding the meaning and happiness I've received in my life because of the gospel.

Anyway...that's it for today. Love life and each other.

Music?

I've decided I want to branch out more on what music I listen to, and I want to be more knowledgeable about the music I listen to. So, I'm open to suggestions of good artists are songs that are worth paying attention to. I want to figure out what makes me like a song, and what I think makes a song good quality. So...yeah. Help me out maybe, by giving me some good suggestions.

Happy

I am happy because:

In less than three months I am getting married to the man of my dreams.

My cousin Brian just got home from his mission, and it'll be nice to get to talk to him more often.

I finally got my attitude on a little straighter, and I'm not stressed out all the time, at least not as much.

And, did I mention that I have this great guy in my life named Jacob?