My Life? Not so fond of it lately

So I know I keep promising that I'll post more, but the truth is I'm not sure you want me to, because then I might just end up complaining all the time, and nobody wants to read that.

Lately I feel frustrated and restless ALL THE TIME! My life in general is extremely frustrating to me. I still haven't found a job, and Jacob hasn't found a full-time job so we are still in his parents house. And I'm not even sure how much longer we can be here, with the weather getting warm again Jacob's parents are wanting to get back on track on getting the house fixed up to sell. Either way, I feel like my life is limbo right now. I can't really do much to decorate this house and make it really feel like home because we'll be painting soon(I've been thinking it was going to happen soon since we moved in, so I never did get around to decorating before now) and they might be having the kitchen and bathroom redone. I sit at home all day not really doing anything. I know everybody says looking for a job should be your full-time job when you need one, but honestly, I can only look for so long, especially when I find nothing and get really discouraged. Jacob is gone half the time, so not only do I feel really bored and useless, but extremely lonely. And because I can't find a job, I feel like a failure, like the 4 years I spent at BYU working my butt off and paying lots of money were worthless and I shouldn't have bothered. And on top of all that, for last little while it's been really hard for me to ignore just how badly I'm starting to want a baby. I want to start our family! And Jacob does too, but we both feel like right now is not the right time since we don't have a place of our own or a good income. So, for now I continue to wait, and every time I see a cute baby or toddler (and there are many in our ward every sunday) it tortures me just a little bit that I don't have one of my own. And also, my attempts to be healthier and lost weight aren't going as well as I'd like (I need more will power), even when I do well with exercise and eating better, the weight loss is minimal which makes me feel like it's not worth it!

With life being so frustrating in general, the smallest things can set me off into a pretty much full on melt-down of some kind. (for example, ask Jacob about my throwing our plastic cups around the kitchen when our stupid dishwasher failed to work properly even after my cleaning cycles of baking soda and vinegar) Most days I kind of just wish I could sleep all day long and not have to deal with it. (Instead I end up doing a lot of reading to avoid thinking about my own life) So, depressing, right? I knew you wouldn't want to hear it, and that's about all I have to say lately, hence the lack of posts. And perhaps most depressing of all is that it's getting rather hard to keep hoping that things will get any better, seeing as I graduated almost a year ago and have been in this same lousy boat since then.

There are a few things I can be grateful for thought. Mainly Jacob, and his loving patience with me and my pretty much constant depressed/frustrated state that I take out on him more than I should. In fact, he loves me so much he went and saw the Hunger Games with me, even though he wasn't really interested. Also, he agreed that we should buy MarioKart for our 64(mainly at my bidding so we'd have a game we could actually play together, which he continues to do when I ask even though I tend to beat him about 80-90% of the time)Also, the weather is finally getting warmer! which has been wonderful and has helped me cheer up a bit. And as I mentioned, I have been getting a lot of reading done, which has been great. (I know I keep promising book reviews on here, but seriously, you should all just get goodreads, because I keep track of everything I read on there, and even if I don't write an actual review, I do at least rate the books I read)

And on that note, I'll be done. I hope all of your lives are going better than mine, and if they're not, well, feel free to call and commiserate with me.

Tag, I'm it.

My friend Aubrey "tagged" me in one of those fun little blog games that goes around so I decided to play along. Here's how it goes.

1. Post these rules
2. Post a photo of yourself and 11 random things.
3. Answer the questions set for you in the original post.
4. Create 11 new questions and tag people to answer them.
5. Go to their blog/twitter and tell them you've tagged them.


(This is my favorite picture from my bridals, and I don't have many of just me that are any newer, so it is a couple years old, but I don't look that different)

11 Things About Me
1. I really hate cold leftovers, like it disgusts me just to dish them up and get them in the microwave, especially if I have to touch them at all. It's just gross.
2. I've never broken a bone, and the only place I've ever had stitches was in my mouth(for wisdom teeth and when I had my frenulum labii superioris trimmed when I was younger)
3. I absolutely love board games. So much so that growing up when nobody wanted to play with me, I'd play Monopoly with myself. Now I do the same with Ticket to Ride when Jacob's not in the mood to play.
4. I love to do Jigsaw puzzles, in fact I spent a lot of summer days growing up doing puzzles and watching movies.
5. Speaking of movies, I have a really hard time just watching a movie or TV show, I have to be doing something else as well, hence the jigsaw puzzles in number 4.
6. I have a really hard time falling asleep without "sleepy" music because my dad always had some on around bedtime when I was growing up. Luckily Jacob is really understanding and lets me have music on at night, but when I had roommates, I had to use my ipod and headphones some nights.
7. I never had braces or a retainer, but I get cavities really easily, like you'd probably be disgusted if you knew how many I've had filled. I promise I brush my teeth!
8. I have strange dreams on a nightly basis, often more than one in a night, and I actually remember most of them too.
9. I may have majored in English Literature, but I'm not one of those "literary" stuck up types. I'd probably rather re-read the Twilight series than wade through a Thomas Hardy or Virginia Woolf novel.
10. When I was little girl I really hoped that I would have twins or even triplets when I grew up. I planned to name them things like, Rose, Rosy, and Rosamund. I've thought better of the names plan, but part of me still secretly thinks it would be cool to have twins.
11. I have a really hard time coming up with random facts about myself, you're lucky I thought of this many.

Aubrey's Questions for me
1. favorite beverage? wow this one is hard for me, but earlier this year I discovered that ginger ale mixed with the homemade grape juice Jacob's mom helped me make was AMAZING! I also really like sparkling cider, just the original apple flavor
2. what talent do you most want? I wish I was more artistic, I would love to be able to draw or paint.
3. dream vacation? Europe. I won't pick a specific country because once you're there it's pretty easy to travel between countries. http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif
4. what piece of advice would you give your 10 year old self? hmmm, there's a lot of things I'd love to tell my ten year old self, but I guess one would be, read a little bit less, get out and be social and active a little bit more.
5. what time of your life do you most wish to go back to and why? The summer Jacob and I started dating. It was one of the happiest periods of my life simply because I told myself to just be happy and for once I actually listened.
6. what is the coolest thing you have found on Pinterest (with the link so we can see!)? I haven't been on Pinterest long and there are already so many cool things I've found it's hard to choose one. But I did find a picture of this really cool little item I'd love to have, you stick it on your finger and it helps keeps the pages of your book open.
7. worst fear? Honestly, I am always paranoid that I'm going to be kidnapped and or raped or something else like that.
8. best work out/pep song? There are way to many, I really can't pick just one, and it often depends on my mood as well.
9. biggest accomplishment? graduating with Honors from Brigham Young University (in 4 years mind you, no super senior here)
10. favorite children's book? This is also a hard one for me to answer (another random fact about myself, I actually hate it when people ask me to pick favorites because I just can't do it) but I have always loved "Love You Forever" by Robert Munsch
11. favorite holiday? Okay, so my family has our own little holiday was call "Thanksmas" which is the weekend after Thanksgiving when we'd put up all our Christmas decorations. That's probably my favorite. If I can't pick a holiday that doesn't "officially" exist then I'd probably have to say Christmas, but really I just love that holidays mean spending time with family.

My questions for Jillianne Jensen, Sarah Crooks, Kiera Beddes, and Erika Hirschi

1. What is your favorite book ever?
2. What is your dream vacation?
3. If you could live one day in the life of a fictional character, who would it be?
4. What is your favorite dessert? (Feel free to share a recipe)
5. What is your favorite restaurant and your favorite dish there?
6. What is one word you think best describes you and why?
7. What is your favorite TV show ever, and favorite current TV show (if you have one)
8. What do you love most about yourself?
9. Which Harry Potter character do you most identify with (if you don't like Harry Potter, pick another series like Lord of the Rings)
10. What is your favorite song?
11. What is your favorite board game?


Hope they all join the game, I'm excited to see their answers, and I hope this post helped you all learn a little bit more about me. And if any of you want to join the game and I didn't "tag" you, feel free to join in anyway! I'd love to see your answers too.