So, Sarah pretty much commanded me to write this blog post. But, because I love her I won't be too angry. :) JK. For all of my friends out there who enjoy reading and are always looking for a good book, here's a few ideas. Books I've read lately and enjoyed.

1. The Help by Kathryn Stockett
I'm pretty sure most of you have heard of this by now, possibly even already read it or seen the movie, but if you haven't, check it out. It's a great historical-fiction novel that takes place in Jackson, Mississippi in the early 60s, during the civil rights movement. The story is told from the point of view of three very different women who come together to write a book about the lives of black women who are "the help" to the white women in Jackson. The book really makes you think about the racial prejudice that was everywhere at that time and reminds us all that we're really not that different from those we see around us.

2. Paranormalcy by Kiersten White
In one review this book was called "the most refreshing paranormal debut of the year" and I totally agree. It truly was a truly refreshing and delightful book that was unique in the midst of the latest literary crazy for paranormal creatures. The book continually had the perfect mix of fun, lightheartedness and tense, mysterious, impending doomness(which isn't even a word, but it works). But really, if you're looking for a quick fun read, try this one.

3. To Say Nothing of the Dog and The Doomsday Book by Connie Willis

These two books are favorites of my mother-in-law and I am so glad she recommended them to me. It's difficult to describe these books well, but the premise is that sometime in the future time travel becomes possible and trained people called "historians" take various assignments traveling to the past to gain first-hand knowledge of people, things, events, etc. Both book really appealed the historical fiction lover in me and I truly wish that Connie Willis had written more novels in the delightful world she created.

4. The Host by Stephanie Meyer
First of all, don't judge too quickly just because this was written by the author of Twilight, I thought this book was great. Stephanie Meyer takes the age-old premise of "alien invasion" and puts her own unique twist on it. The main character, Wanderer, has been placed in a new human host body, but unlike most hosts, Melanie won't leave. Her presence is always with Wanderer who finds herself caring about humans she's never met. Not only did this book tell two great love stories, but it also poses important philosophical questions, such as "can one life rightfully take precedence over another, and if so, who decides?

5. The Silence of God by Gale Sears
This LDS historical-fiction book is based on the true story of the Lindlof family, the first members for the Church in Russia. It takes place during World War I and the Russian Revolution and tells the story of the Lindlof family as they struggle to keep their faith in a country that is banishing God. I wish the author had been a little more accurate in the book to what had actually happened to the Lindlof family, but it is a still a great book about the power of faith.


Well, I hope that this is helpful to someone out there, and if none of these books sounds interesting to you, please feel free to ask me for other suggestions. I'm also always happy to get suggestions on books to read!

The Greatest Gift

First of all, thanks to all of you who commented on my last blog post and proved to me that I AM loved and that there is a point to my having a blog.

Moving on...

How many of you who were born in the church can actually remember the date of your baptism? I get the feeling that some of you don't. Well, I'm lucky enough that I do. Every year on December 7th while people remember and honor the events at Pearl Harbor, I also remember and honor my baptism day. Fifteen years ago today I was baptized by my father, confirmed a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and given the gift of the Holy Ghost.

Sometimes I forget that we call it the GIFT of the Holy Ghost. At this time of year everyone is thinking about gifts, to give, to get, etc. Right now I'd like to take a couple minutes to focus on the special gift that is the Holy Ghost, because it is one of the greatest gifts God has given to his children.

In 1 Nephi chapter 4 Nephi speaks of possibly one of his first experiences with the Holy Ghost as it leads him to Laban which allows him to get the brass plates that were essential to the spiritual well-being of his family. In verse six he says, "And I was led by the Spirit, not knowing before hand the things which I should do." How lucky are we that we have been given a gift that can help us get through situations when we don't know what we should do? In my Book of Mormon I have a seminary "glue-in" on this page with quotes from general authorities on the Holy Ghost that I'd like to share with you.

"The greatest gift in mortality is the gift of the Holy Ghost, which is "the right to have, whenever one is worthy, the companionship of the Holy Ghost (BD)...The gift of the Holy Ghost is the key to obtaining the gift of eternal life, the greatest of all the gifts of God." - Bishop David A. Burton

"The gift of the Holy Ghost is the greatest gift we can receive in mortality." - President Wilford Woodruff

"The overall gift of the Holy Ghost truly is one of the greatest blessings available to members of the Church." - Elder Neal A. Maxwell

"The gift of the Holy Ghost "is the greatest guarantor of inward peace in our unstable world." - President James E. Faust

"It (the Holy Ghost) is a most precious gift available only to worthy members of the Lord's Church." - Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin

"When we are baptized, we receive the gift of the Holy Ghost, which is the right to the constant companionship of this member of the Godhead, based on faithfulness. This is the greatest gift possible to receive in mortality." Elder Bruce R. McConkie

From a vision of Joseph Smith: "Joseph stepped toward me, and looking very earnestly, yet pleasantly said, 'Tell the people to be humble and faithful, and be sure to keep the spirit of the Lord and it will lead them right. Be careful and not turn away the still small voice; it will teach you what to do and where to go; to keep their hearts open to conviction, so that when the Holy Ghost comes to them, their hearts will be ready to receive it. They can tell the Spirit of the Lord from all other spirits; and their whole desire will be to do good, bring forth righteousness and build up the kingdom of God."

What amazing quotes, right? I hope as the Christmas season continues that each of us will not only remember that Christ is the true reason for the season, but also that the Holy Ghost is "the greatest gift in mortality", a gift better than anything that may be placed in your stocking or under your tree this year. And also remember that it was given to you by a loving Heavenly Father who loves you more than any other person can, and who is always there when you need him.

Sometimes life gets so hectic and stressful that it's hard to remember that the Lord is always there for you, and that he and the Father are constantly wanting to help us, that all we have to do is act. I know that as we each strive to keep the Holy Ghost with us that the spirit can help us remember this, and that he can also lead us and "teach [us] what to do and where to go."

For you Sarah

So, I spent an awesome evening with my sister today and we got talking about blogs, and how it's always a little sad when nobody comments on a post. I kind of lied a couple of entries ago when I said I've stopped posting because I have nothing to post about. That's only part of the reason. I kind of partly stopped posting because I felt like nobody cared if I did...(I've hardly gotten any comments on most of my entries in the last few months, which is kind of depressing) But today my sister and I came to the conclusion that we check each others' blogs almost every day. So I'm going to start trying to post more, even if Sarah is the only one who reads it! As for the rest of you, you can read it too, if you want to. (Just don't be offended if I direct posts specifically to her)

Also, if I'm being completely honest, I haven't really been a very happy person lately, and that may be another reason why I haven't posted much. Well, once upon a time I wrote a couple of posts about how Happiness is a Choice. I think I've forgotten that. And I want to start making that choice again. So just a warning to you, when I'm a happier person, I tend to think EVERYTHING is important and awesome and because I feel that way, I think everyone else does too. So please don't be annoyed if I start posting about silly little things all the time, it'll be a good sign.

And to those of you who have always read my blog that I just don't know about, THANK YOU. Even if I don't know that you're out there caring about what I write, it matters to me that you care. (Also, I am sorry for the lack of pictures on my blog lately, my old camera has kind of started having some issues so I don't use it much, but a little bird tells me that Santa is bringing me a lovely new camera for Christmas-and by that I mean Jacob and I stood in line in the cold for two hours on Black Friday to buy me a new camera)

Amazing Giveaway!!!

So one of my absolute favorite bloggers is having an amazing giveaway on her blog right now. Nichelle over at Vintage Wanna Bee is giving one lucky follower a $100 credit to her etsy store. Yes you read that right, $100!!!! So you really should all go check out her blog and etsy shop. However, I'm not just saying that because of the giveaway, but because Nichelle really is just awesome. Her crafts and items in her shop are all adorable, but that's not all; I love her attitude about life and her personality that really shines through on her blog. I feel like I could be good friends with her if I knew her in real life, and that she'd probably a great person to be around. So seriously, go check out Vintage Wanna Bee! You'll find great craft ideas, inspiration, and often a good laugh.

Opinions Please?

So, I've been quite bored lately, so I've been doing a lot of reading. A lot. And I'm planning on doing more. I've got about 170 books on my "to read" shelf on goodreads. So, I've been thinking I'd maybe start a blog where I do book reviews of the books I'm reading. So, I want your opinion. Would the blog be worth my time? Would any of you be interested in reading it? Please comment and let me know! Thanks!

Back to the books

No, I don't refer to school books. I'm done with school forever! I mean books as in novels and novels as in the books I choose to read and NOT books that my teachers are choosing for me! The reason I haven't posted on my blog for so long is because there isn't really much to post about. I still haven't found a job, and Jacob just started a part time one, which means that I've had a lot of free time and nothing to do. (hence the not posting) Pretty much the only good thing about that has been all the time I've had to read anything I want. I've always loved reading, but during college that love kind of faded a bit because I spent all my time reading for homework, and reading kind of became a tedious thing. It took me a month or so to find my groove, but now I'm back to frequent library visits and reading books in a matter of days. It has been fantastic! I've slowly been working through my "to-read" shelf on goodreads, but I've also been adding books to it. Who knows if I'll ever run out of books I want to read. I certainly hope not.

Anyway, in other news my brother David got married last month and I love his wife Sheridan! She is a great addition to our growing family, which has now doubled in size from the 5 i grew up with to a total of 10! Wow! It was fantastic day and a great sealing in the Salt Lake Temple. I am so grateful to my parents for being such a great example to me and my siblings.

Hmmm, what else to say...I got a new cell phone. I haven't had a new phone in a few years, and even that one was a hand-me-down, as was the one before that. So I'm pretty happy about that. Except I have to build my contacts list from scratch. So any of you reading this, feel free to let me know somehow what your number is I would totally appreciate it!

And that's about all I have to say. Sad, right? My total lack of something to talk about on this blog is the reason for my total lack of posts. So until something worth posting about happens, expect similar long breaks between posting.

Hope life is treating you all well!

Family and the Gospel

This past week has given me a wonderful reminder of how lucky I am to have the family I do and to have the gospel play such a large role in my family and in my life. I spent the last weekend at my family reunion. We rented this great place in Fairview, Utah down by Manti and spent 4 wonderful fun filled days with 40 plus members of my extended family. It is amazing to see just how much our family has grown over the years, and so much fun to have so many little babies in the family again. But the most amazing thing is how close knit our family remains even as we grow bigger and spread out even more. Sometimes I worry I'm just a little too prideful of my family,but generally I think my pride is justified. :) I have rarely met anyone who is as close to their extended family as I am to mine, and I honestly couldn't imagine how different my life would be without those relationships. I am truly so grateful for my grandparents and the family they have build and to my aunts, uncles, and cousins for being such amazing family members and friends.

The wonderful experience of the reunion was followed by an even more amazing experience as my new cousin Emmali was sealed to Jon and Kim in the Bountiful Temple. There were so many family members there to support them, and the Spirit was so strong, the feeling was truly indescribable. It was such a touching experience to see their family together in the temple and know that because of gospel covenants they will be together forever. I can remember all the years of praying on their behalf and the experience in the temple was a testament to the power of prayer.

I am so grateful for my family and for the gospel and only hope that I can do my part to pass on the legacy when I have my own children.

OMG...giveaways galore!

Okay, for all my crafting friends out there, you have to check out the Sew, Mama, Sew Giveaway Day!

There are tons of giveaways going on right now that you can enter for amazing fabrics, handmade goods, and so many other things! Most of the giveaways end tomorrow or the day after, so go check them out RIGHT NOW!!!

Here is a link for you: Sew, Mama, Sew Giveaway List

Good luck! I'm really hoping I finally win my first giveaway this week!

I should probably write a post all about how I'm a college graduate and how we moved away from Provo today, (and this time I won't be moving back at the end of the summer) and how it's our one year anniversary in two days and all that....

But I'm too tired to do so today. Cause I've been packing and moving all day, and I'm getting a cold, and something is SERIOUSLY wrong with my foot. It hurts to walk. It hurts a lot. Like I kind of want to cut it off.

So you'll all just have to wait a little longer. Plus, I know you want to see me all capped and gowned and I'm currently not 100 percent sure as to the location of my camera...and the pictures on my camera looked a little blurry, so I might as well wait till someone, (Dad, Sarah, hint hint) e-mails me some better ones. So we'll just be all patient together.

You'll probably not have to wait long and get a post all about stuff in the next few days, since I'm all graduated and jobless, and will probably be out of my mind with boredom. If anyone knows of any jobs in the Salt Lake/Holladay area, preferably editing or writing jobs, I'd love to hear about them and therefore not go out of my mind. Or, you can always come play with me, or pick me up to play! I'm always willing to have some fun (Especially if you pay for the playing that costs money)

Hope that update will hold you off till I'm feeling less lazy and more up to an entertaining and informational post.

Prayers Please

Hey guys, remember how excited I was that my Aunt and Uncle were in China adopting a little girl? Well, I'm still super excited about that new cousin, but they've ran into a slight problem. Their flight home got canceled and they are left to find their own way home! They need as many prayers and happy thoughts as they can get. I know a lot of my readers are family and will already be praying for them, but for those of you who aren't, please add your prayers to all the many others being offered in their behalf so that they can find a way home and also that they can find somewhere to stay after their current hotel reservations run out. And if you need any motivation, here's a picture of their lovely family:



Thanks for your prayers!


EDIT: They've found a way home! Once again, thanks so much for all your prayers!

You'll want to know about this

Amazing Giveaway!!!

For full information, you'll want to check out this post here on She Wears Flowers, but I'll give you a little bit of an intro here:

Tammy over at She Wears Flowers is having an awesome giveaway for Miss Pretty Pretty's card table felt playhouses. They are fantastic! Here are just a few examples:






Aren't they adorable? You can see even more options at Miss Pretty Pretty's Etsy Shop

Now I know most of you reading this don't have kids of your own, but seriously, wouldn't these be an amazing gift for someone's kid? I'm sure you all have at least one little kid that you'd love to give this to!

So go check it out! Once again, the giveaway is here

Oh my goodness!

You HAVE to check out this amazing giveaway over at Vintage Wanna Bee (which is one of my favorite craft blogs lately)! One of her followers will win all of this:




Want to enter? Check out this blog post

Thinking About . . .

How lucky I am to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and to spend this weekend listening to our prophet and other church leaders give us counsel from the Lord. I didn't pay as much attention as I should have or wanted to, but I'm looking forward to the Conference Ensign so I can read all of the talks over again.

A lot of the time I think I'm doing really good at healing from things I've gone through in the past and finally gaining a healthy amount of self-confidence. Then I get on a down slope, usually for no reason that I can think of, and start feeling really bad about myself again.

Lately I think that's because I worry about what I'm doing with my life. Do I have enough purpose in my life? I need to find a job in the next month since I'm graduating and all, but I can't seem to find very much passion for an editing job in my heart. Sometimes I worry that I'm not passionate about anything, at least not passionate enough. Sometimes I feel like I must be the most boring person in the world.

One day last week I was bored/avoiding writing a paper, and I was reading my writing blog and thinking that I was decent writer and I wish I would have kept it up instead of hardly writing when I didn't have a class that gave me a reason to write. But that brings me back to the whole passion thing. I generally wrote about things I was going through, trying to get over, about family members, etc. And I don't know what I care enough right now to write about...hmmmm. Dilemma. Somebody should tell me something to write about.

Kids are adorable. But, I'm not saying I want one yet. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever feel ready to be a mom. Moms amaze me. Especially mine. And my sister. And they're kids are amazing(not biased at all). Evelyn is the most entertaining kid to be around, and she is so smart! I love watching her learn something new every day I see her! I'm so proud to be her aunt. And Leah is the sweetest little baby ever! I know all babies are that, but really, Leah is!

Next weekend I'm going up with Sarah for girl's weekend at my parents. I'm so excited! Because I get to spend it with those girls I was talking about above. And I don't just mean the little ones, but those amazing moms too! And, my soon to be sister-in-law! That's right, David and Sheridan set a temple date. Though that slow-poke still needs to give her a ring. But I'm super excited for them! (Hope I'm allowed to tell people about this, if not, Shhh)

Finally, I have an amazing husband! He has put up with everything I've thrown his way and never stopped loving me. He always puts my happiness first, and that means to much to me!

I may not have everything I want, or even know what all I want, but I am truly blessed.

So happy for Jon, Kim, Jessica, and EmmaLi

This week my Aunt Kim, Uncle Jon, and cousin Jessica are in China, finally meeting, adopting, and bringing home my new cousin EmmaLi. Luckily, they're keeping us all updated through their blog, and have posted picture from their first meeting with EmmaLi. Just seeing that little girl finally in the arms of her family makes me want to cry, and I am amazed at the ways the Lord works.

Three years ago a little girl was born in China, and for whatever reason her mother couldn't keep her. Over here in Utah, there was one amazing family patiently planning and waiting to add one more to their numbers. Isn't it amazing that the Lord can cross those many miles, and through modern technology and good people, bring that little girl and that wonderful family together?

Although I'm sure the adjustment won't be easy on EmmaLi, she is one lucky little girl and will be welcomed into an amazing family. Jon and Kim are wonderful parents, and Jessica will be such an amazing older sister. Plus, EmmaLi has some extremely impatient grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins waiting to welcome her with love. I can't wait till they get back to Utah and I get to meet my newest cousin!

I am also so grateful for the priesthood power, so that EmmaLi can be sealed to her family in the temple and be with them forever.

Until then, I'm keeping them all in my prayers, that everything will go smoothly and that all four of them will be able to arrive home in Utah safely.

Love you Jon, Kim, Jessica, and EmmaLi, and I am so happy for you!

I like giveaways

Lately I love entering giveaways on craft blogs! I haven't won anything yet, but it's still exciting. Starting today one of the awesome blogs I read, Flamingo Toes, is having some awesome giveaways on her Anthropologie inspired necklaces! They are all BEAUTIFUL! And you should check out her tutorials on them as well!

Picture time!

Remember how I spent a lot of time with my wonderful nieces before I got sick? Well, here's the proof:





Adorable, aren't they?

Spoke too soon

Well, not really because I still think the last week or so was a great one, but today, I'm sick. UGH! My chest is super congested and my throat is all scratchy. My voice sounds weird, and I just feel tired and achy. It came on so fast. Not fair! I think I'll survive though. Cross your fingers for me.

Life is Good

Hey all, thought I'd just give you an update on life.

As I mentioned, my newest niece, Leah Kristen Crooks, arrived on the 17th at 7:45 am. She was 7 lbs 9 oz, and I think 20in, maybe 21. Anyway, Leah got to spend some quality time with Aunt Lydia a couple times last week. I'm so glad that Sarah was just up in Orem for the delivery, because I was able to go up a couple times and just hold Leah so she and Matt could get a break to nap and shower. I loved helping out, because who wouldn't love holding a beautiful bundle of joy, just arrived straight from heaven. Leah's usually asleep when I hold her, but it's still super special, and she is certainly adorable!

Today I stopped by for a while and got to spend some time with big sister Evelyn! She is growing up so fast, I can hardly believe it! I taught her a new animal sound today; the elephant! We're still working on it a little, but she got it pretty well. Next goal: teach her how to say my name. Kids often struggle with mine, so it'll probably take a while, but we'll get there. I also went with Evelyn and Grandma(aka my mom) to the store to pick out some brand new footie pajamas for Evie. I'm so jealous! They were adorable, I need to find some that fit me!

I did have some great finds for myself tonight though, at Honks! I seriously love that store just for the $1 necklaces I find there. Today I bought 6 necklaces for $4 because three of them came together. A couple of them I like as are, but you better believe I'm taking the rest apart for use in future projects of my own.

I also got an increase in fabric today because my mom brought down a bunch of the scraps from my projects in my high school sewing class. I am super excited to have more fabric to make accessories with, but I'm even more excited to use it for my newest project: A baby mobile for baby Leah! I found a great idea for one on a blog(I can't find the blog again, so I've got to off of one from an etsy shop) and it turns out that Sarah needs a new one they can hang from the ceiling because Evie still uses the crib and Leah will be in a pack 'n' play for a bit. I am so excited to provide them with one! It will look something like this but not as color coordinated since I'm working with what material I have. I'll try to show you the finished product when I get it done though!

That's pretty much it. Jacob and I are staying busy with school and work, and I'm definitely looking forward to graduating in April. I'm not looking forward to finding a real job or a good, paying, internship, but I'm sure things will work out.

Call for Pictures and an Announcement

Hey all! Remember when I told you about the awesome magazine I'm working on? Well, I have another favor to ask of you: I am currently co-writing an article about great places to stop along I-95. Only problem is, we can't actually make the drive along I-95 to get pictures of the locations we've picked. It's a long shot, but we're asking friends and family if they happen to have pictures of the awesome places we've picked.

They include:

Ward's Berry Farm in Sharon, Massachusetts
Russell W. Peterson Urban Wildlife Refuge in Wilmington, Delaware
South of the Border in South Carolina
Historical sites, especially Civil War related in Richmond, Virginia
Tybee Island in Savannah, Georgia
and the historical Spanish sites in St. Augustine, Florida

If by any chance you do have pictures you think could be useful to us, please let me know ASAP.

Thank you muchly for reading this.


Also, She is here! My newest niece Leah was born this morning, 7lbs, 9oz, and 20in long. I hear she's adorable with lots of hair! I can't wait to go see her this afternoon. Don't worry, pictures WILL be posted at a later date.

We bought a glue gun yesterday . . .

and I already have a blister.

We also bought more DI fabric today. The bag had some felt in it. And by some I mean actually a lot. It will be useful. I've already put backs on all of the different flowers I've made so far. Now I just need the hair clips and headbands to put them on. Speaking of flowers, I've made five different kinds now that I can use for accessories. It makes me feel cool.

However, I've felt kind of crappy lately. As in my back keeps aching for no reason, or maybe because I bend over to work on crafts too much. It hurt all day today, and I felt so tired and grumpy because of it. I was supposed to be working on getting my portfolio ready so I can hopefully get an internship with the Church Magazines. I didn't really work on that today. However, I did do some organizing today! At the beginning of Christmas break I organized our nice big closet and it looked all pretty, but it had become a disaster again. Well, today it looks nice and pretty again, and I have a shelf for my newly acquired craft supplies. Woohoo!

Anyway, this post ended up being longer than I intended, I really just wanted to let you know about the glue gun blister, cause I'm super tired. So, I'm going to bed now.

p.s. Next time I blog, I may be telling you all about my newest adorable niece, who I am very impatiently awaiting the arrival of. But not as impatiently as my sister Sarah. Please keep them in your prayers so baby Leah can arrive safe and healthy!

Want to be published?

Okay, so here's the dealio,

As you may or may not know, I am an editing minor and I'm graduating in April. For the editing capstone class that I'm in right now, we students basically become the staff for a magazine that will actually be printed and published! Awesome, right?

Well, the magazine is a travel magazine, and always includes a section called "Tales from the Trip" where we have people submit their funny or interesting stories about their vacation experience to be included in our magazine. I'd love to have one of my family members or friends write wonderful story we choose to include.

You won't be paid, and it's not like we're a famous magazine, but you'll be published! And you'll be helping me and my classmates out. If you're interested type up a 150-250 story about your experience and e-mail it to me at lydia.hirschi@gmail.com before February 22nd.

Hope to get some fun stories from you!

P.S. There is also a photo contest! You can check out more about that and the magazine at our website: stowawaymag.com

Still Craft Crazy

I'm still in a crazy crafting mood!! I've even added a couple of craft blogs to my list. You can see them to the left, they are Ziggy Crafts and Homestitched. Homestitched is even having a giveaway right now. I don't know the people who make the blogs, but they have both supplied me with even more craft ideas and I just wish I had the time, materials, and therefore money, to make all of them!!

Also, I did have a craft night with my sister. It was so much fun! She reminded me how to crochet and taught me how to make a crochet flower headband! I love it. And I gave her some tips on jewelry making. I want to have another craft night with her soon, but hopefully baby Leah will arrive soon and delay that second craft night.

I also bought a big bag of material at the DI (thanks to Catherine for mentioning doing the same thing on her blog! I didn't even know they had material!) And I discovered that Honks, the dollar store behind my house, actually has some beads and other jewelry supplies! Jacob was even more enthusiastic about getting some bead supplies than I was! So we got a whole bunch. Usually I just find jewelry there to take apart, seeing as it only costs a dollar.

Now I just need a sewing machine. Anyone have one they want to donate? But really, thanks to Jacob's friend Alicia for letting us know there are smaller craft sewing machines, we're going to start keeping an eye out for one at a good price.

But I'll seriously take any craft supply donations you might want to make. Or you know, money donations to buy said supplies with works too.

This weekend was my stake's Relief Society Super-Saturday activity. I learned how to do some new crafts, and now I am being taken over by a desire to be crafty, crafty, and more crafty. I want a real house I can decorate. I want more money to buy decorations with. And to buy crafting supplies with. And I want the time and knowledge and skills to make every cute crafty thing that I think I like in the whole world!

I need someone to remind me how to crochet, and then teach me more than the basics so I can make cool things, like hats and headbands and scarfs and blankets and lots more.

When all of the flower type things first became fashionable, I thought they were ridiculous. I made fun of all of you who wore them. But now, I like them. A lot. Possible simply because I want to be fashionable. But who cares why, I just do. And I learned how to make some yesterday. And I want to learn how to make more and just make make make them.

And I wish I could sew better. And that I had a sewing machine. But possibly that latter wish should come first.

And I want more beads and chains and necklace supplies! And more ideas, and more colors. Currently I'm working on a necklace that's mostly blacks and whites and silverish. But I want to make a purple necklace really badly. And a red one too. I wish that beads weren't so expensive. However, I did buy three necklaces for a dollar each from Honks. I took them apart. Eventually I'm going to use the beads to make necklaces I like better. And maybe one day I'll actually make a post full or pictures of the jewelry I've made. I've made at least 5 necklaces now and altered at least one. And usually I make earrings and/or a bracelet to match.

AHH! I just want to craft! I think I'm going to have a girl's/crafting/chick flick day or night in a week or two. So if you by chance want to come and perhaps share some crafting skills and gain some others, let me know. And, if you just want to teach me how to do something, that's always cool too. :)

I'm getting craft giddy now. I better stop. And besides, I have a necklace to work on! Craft on!

Just Give Me Back My Pieces

Today I was reading my one of my really really boring text books for my Visual Rhetoric class (which I hate, btw) when I came across a true gem in a sea of boring information. In a journal-type example of visual rhetoric from some artist named Sabrina Ward Harrison I read these words in reference to a conversation she had with her grandmother:

"She said I should take care of the pain I am feeling. the same way I should take care of the scrap[e] on my knee. She said, Give it air, and sun. Don't pick at it. Let it heal."

Those words really made me start thinking, a lot. About how often I haven't taken care of my emotional pain the way I would a physical pain. So many times in my life I have felt that I wasn't loved, that I wasn't good enough to love, and have had things happen to me that I felt proved that feeling. Feelings and events and thoughts that have brought so much pain. And I have been horrible at giving my emotions air, and sun. At not picking at them, at letting them heal. For a long time, and even still, I've focused on the bad things that have happened to me, on my negative thoughts and feelings, and by dwelling on them, by "picking at them" I never allowed myself to heal. It took me many, many years to realize that I was still in so much pain in large part because I would not let myself move on. In fact, letting go is still a slow process, like breaking out of a shell because I have to give up my habit of holding on. But it's a process that is slowly working.

Strangely enough, shortly after I read this, my ipod played the song "Be OK" by Ingrid Michaelson, which is all about wanting to put broken pieces of a heart back together and be okay again. This song expressed what I have felt so many times. Wanting to be okay, but now knowing where my pieces have gone so that I can put them back together.

But something I've realized lately, is that maybe I don't need all of those pieced. Maybe it's time that I learn over again how to become a person, how to mold a personality, a character. Maybe I need to figure out again how to be Lydia. But not the old Lydia. A new Lydia, a better Lydia, a happier and healed Lydia. Sometimes I think I'm getting there. For a long time I would complain to Jacob that I had nothing that was "mine," nothing that was "me." But I think I realized you can't just go about your life hoping you can find those things, I realized you have to search for them. You have to look at something and decide, I want that to be a part of my life, to be a part of me. I want to make that change. Lately I've had this desire to be crafty. Maybe I feel like I'll fit in with the wives in Provo if I am. But even if that was my first motivation, it doesn't matter, because I've discovered at least one thing that I'm beginning to make mine. I love my latest experiments with making my own jewelry. I'm starting to feel more confident in my abilities to create something beautiful, and I'm starting to feel more confident about myself in general.

And it's a wonderful feeling, because that confidence is real. So often I've lied to myself and said I felt confident. But that was just to hide from my insecurities. And sometimes I still do. But I think finally I've begun to find my own special way of building confidence. I think for the first time in a long time I'm remembering how to love myself completely, and to do so just because I'm me, not because someone else sees worth in me, or because I've accomplished something big. No, just because I'm Lydia, and I'm doing my best to be my best in this life. I think I'm finally beginning to realize that I hold the pieces to creating the best Lydia, me, not anybody else. And it doesn't matter what they say or think, as long I, and the Father, am happy with what the end result is.

I still have a long way to go, and I still have some scars that need healing. But today, I'm feeling hope. I'm still terrified about the changes the future holds for me. Terrified about graduating, about having to find a real job, about failing to do so because I may not have enough experience on my resume. But right now, I'm okay with that. I'm okay because I know that I, Lydia, will be able to make it through, as long as I know who I am. And I think I've finally began to do just that.

Our bad Car luck

So, Jacob and I bought a new car. It's pretty, and newer than our 91 Geo, and not falling apart, so we liked it. Supposedly. But then this weekend happened, and I and the new car were NOT friends. But it's okay now, I think we're friends again. Here is our story, and some other car adventures thrown in.

So, we bought the car knowing that it needed some repair, mainly a couple of new tires and the alignment fixed. So we decided we would head up to my parents for part of the weekend and go to my dad's trusty mechanic in Layton. Well, I guess we should have had a warning when we had to get the car jump started before we left. We weren't too worried though because we knew that might be the case since the car had been sitting around for a few months before we bought it. So we got on our way, hoping that the 1/4 of a tank of gas we had left would get us all the way, because if we stopped the battery would die. To our surprise and horror though the car died just before we would have passed the Alpine/Highland exit, so we pulled over(luckily we were able to make it to the exit ramp, so we weren't off the main highway).

We called my dad and then waited in our cold car for about an hour until he and my mom pulled up in the truck. At that point we hooked up our car to the truck and my dad towed us all the way to the mechanic shop in Layton. Jacob had to sit back in our car with not heat and not lights to control the steering wheel and hit the break when we needed to slow down. Needless to say, it was probably the longest drive up he's ever experienced. I got to sit in the nice warm truck and chat with my mom, and I certainly love Jacob for being willing to let me do so while he had to deal with the nerve-wracking job of keeping our car where it needed to be. However, we made it safely to Layton and even did so without getting pulled over, which was pretty lucky considering the fact that my dad shouldn't have been towing our car that far without it's own lights.

After we dropped the car and key off at the mechanics for them to work on it in the morning, we went out to dinner and my dad jokingly said maybe our gas gauge reads wrong and we had really just ran out of gas. We all laughed and figured that couldn't be the case but that it had to least been the battery dying again. Well, when the shop called in the morning it turned out my dad was right, our gauge was wrong and we had ran out of gas! If we'd had enough gas we maybe could have made it up to my parents, but possibly not because our battery also needed to be replaced, and we needed more oil. But after we got all that fixed, and some new tires, and the alignment fixed, and we paid 440 bucks, everything was good! And we made it safely back to Provo. However, we do still need to replace one sensor before we can get the car inspected and registered, and maybe then I'll post a pic or two .

That wasn't all though. Apparently when Jacob and I have car troubles it's contagious because while we were up there we also discovered my mom's car had a flat tire and my dad had to get that replaced. When we left we promised my dad no more car troubles, but he called us last night to inform us that we were in big toruble because when my mom tried to leave for church yesterday the battery in her car was dead. But hey, they say bad things come in 3's. So we should be fine now, right?

Catch Up

Wow, I have been such a slacker when it comes to blogging lately. Shame on me. I'll try to do better, but I make no promises. For now, I'll just try to briefly catch you up on my life.

Jacob and I went to the Scarlet Pimpernel and it was amazing! Thanksgiving break was good as always, though I think I literally gained 5-10 pounds that weekend. Jacob and I got to enjoy TWO Thanksgiving Dinners, one on Thursday and one on Friday, and if that wasn't enough food, on Wednesday Jacob's family took us out for my birthday dinner, and on Saturday my parents did the same thing. So much food! But I felt so blessed that we can spend time with both of our families.

The same thing went for Christmas Break. We spent a few days with Jacob's family, and then a few days with my family and I really am so glad that unlike many couples at BYU we don't have to pick who we're going to see that year for Christmas. This year we spent the actual holiday with my family and it was so wonderful to be there again for Christmas Eve, Morning, and Day. I love traditions and although I enjoyed last year with Jacob's family, it just felt right to be back with my family this year, and playing games with all of us there was a lot of fun.

On another note, I've started making more of my own jewelry lately, which has been a lot of fun. I've meant to post some pictures here, but I haven't. Maybe I'll get around to it eventually. This means that for Christmas I got some supplies for jewelry making, but most special was the pendant that Jacob made for me. It's a beautiful dark wood that he worked on in his dad's wood shop, and I look forward to making a necklace with it.

Our New Year's Eve was a fun evening spent with our friends Jesse and Catherine. It also included an adventure. Jacob and I decided it was a perfect opportunity to pull out the Fondue Pot we got for our wedding. We were just going to use the cheese packet that came with it (don't worry we checked the date, it was still good) until I checked out the ingredients after Jacob had already put it on the stove to warm. Lo and behold, it had two alcoholic ingredients in it. So, we had to scratch that plan and quickly find a non-alcoholic cheese fondue recipe to use. Luckily we already had some Swiss Cheese on hand and didn't have to run to the store. After that was taken care of though, we enjoyed a fun and relaxing evening with Jesse and Catherine while eating good food, playing Cribbage(thanks to Jacob's dad for teaching us and giving us a Cribbage board) and watching How to Train Your Dragon. All in all, it was a great evening.

In last minute news, Jacob and I bought a new car, I got an internship for this semester, and Jacob and I started our last semester at BYU. We both graduate in April! And also, my best friend Sara K. G. is finally back in good old Provo which makes me so happy!

The End.