Crazy Day

Okay, so I've had a crazy day, full of YAY times and really sucky times, and I wanted to share it with you all.
One problem, it would be great if I had some pictures, but the worst moment of my day arrived as a virus on my laptop. Which means that I'm trying not to use it and this is being typed up on the family computer. And, I don't' put my pictures on here. So, you'll all have to be patient.

Anyway, let me tell you about the rest of my day.

Jacob came over this morning, yay! And I found one of the most comfortable positions to sit in ever. Yeah, I almost fell asleep. (sorry to be so boring Jacob)

Then, AMANDA came to visit!!!!!! I haven't seen that woman for like two months of plus. I think I was slowly dying a painful death due to withdrawals, but don't worry I'm okay now. Meagan came with her, and it was super fun to see her too.

Those two girls came with me to campus where I donated my hair. As in I cut off 10 INCHES! That's a lot of hair. I love the cut, but I miss my hair. Mixed feelings, but since I've donated before, I know how to deal with them. Don't worry, I'll try to get some pictures up when I have a working laptop.

Then, we went to lunch at the Creamery. There were EFY kids EVERYWHERE! I kind of wanted to beat them all over the head because it meant it took forever to get our food. But, it's okay because I had chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream from the creamery, which totally made it worth it.

After lunch, we stopped by Sarah and Matt's. My sister is so pregnant. She's beautiful. And soon I'll have a niece! Like really soon, as in she is due in about 2.5 weeks but could come earlier than that. It will be awesome. And don't worry, I took Sarah chocolate when I visited. I'm an awesome sister like that.

Then, I had to pack. For my family reunion which I go to on Wednesday! I love reunions. Love them. So I am excited for it. But I usually don't pack so last minute. Like I would have started packing a week ago. It was stressful.

Especially because this is when I discovered that my laptop is sick.
But it wasn't all bad, because Jacob came back over and tried to help me figure out what was wrong with the computer. But then he had to go to work.

So I went swimming with the girls. I love swimming. It's a great thing. And Amanda and I just talked and caught up on life and things and it was super. Kind of like the Krispy Kreme (SP?) donuts that we bought on the way out of Provo because I caught a ride with Amanda and Meagan as far as South Jordan.

And dad picked me up there and now I am home. At our beautiful house in Fruit Heights. And that was my day. It was all crazy up and down emotion wise. But you know what? I'm still happy. Because that's how I want to be. :)

Can you sense that?

You all remember my whole happiness is a choice thing? Well, that's going real well for me right now. Among other things, and I've found myself at a point where I am perfectly happy. And a part of that happiness is a great feeling of peace. Sure, I've still got some confusion in my life, or it wouldn't' be life. But overall, I'm at peace. Which has given me the opportunity to pay attention to a few things. A lot of things actually, the little small things. Which has led to this post at this moment. My apologies to all of you that I may seem to be rambling, I kind of am. But I would like to share with you all something I've thought of lately, something I've paid more attention to than usual:

The senses. Yeah, I'm talking about the five senses. You know them: taste, touch, hearing, smell, sight. I've discovered that when you're really at peace you can pay more attention to the wonders that are the senses, and I've been thoroughly enjoying that experience. Even if your life may not be completely at peace right now, I suggest you take a moment. Find somewhere you can relax and feel some peace just for a little bit. And then just feel. And when I say that I also mean hear and see and taste and smell. Do it! As soon as possible. But as long as you're sitting here wasting time on the internet, let me just share with you some of my thoughts and experiences when it comes to the senses.

Taste: Okay, so all of us go around using this sense all the time. We're usually eating on a pretty regular basis and we don't' really think about taste very much past the point of deciding whether we like something or not. But have you ever really thought about the reasons you love what you do? I will admit that this is one sense I still don't pay a ton of attention to, but I promise that I have been thinking about it a little. For example, I was trying to figure out why I'm addicted to chips and salsa. Well, duh, it's the taste. There is something about the salty crunchiness of my favorite brand of chips that mixes perfectly with the slightly hot yet entirely fresh taste of salsa. MMMMM. so good. So pay a little more attention to what you're eating. It's even more enjoyable when you figure out why you enjoy it in the first place.

Touch: I've been exploring this one quite a bit actually. It's been a lot of fun. One of the best forms of exploration? Walking home barefoot. Yeah, I've been doing that. And it is totally awesome! I know it probably sounds a little eccentric to find so much joy in this, but on a regular walk home from work I can experience about 6 different textures on my feet. And when you're really paying attention to it, it's amazing how big of a difference you can feel. Try it sometime. It will be worth it, if you really want it to be.

Hearing: This one may be even more awesome then walking around barefoot to explore the sense of touch. Do you realize how many different things you can hear in a day? In a second? And the potential for beauty that each of those sounds have. For example, let me tell you what I can hear right now. I can hear myself typing, a sound I really don't think about that often. But now that I've pointed it out to myself, I'm thinking it sounds pretty awesome. I also have some music playing on my computer. Ah, without the sense of hearing, you'd never be able to appreciate music. Life would be so boring! and less meaningful. I also happen to be sitting next to an open window, which means right now I can hear the cars driving on Highway 89 about a block away from my house. Most of you probably think I've gone crazy, but I LOVE the sound of cars on a road, especially a busy road. Which points out one really awesome characteristic of sounds. There are millions, and we all love different sounds because they connect us to different memories. Isn't that great?

Smell: That's also another thing that we get to associate with memories, or with people, or a ton of things. Isn't that great? I've been paying more attention lately to how people smell. Which sounds a little weird, but whatever, I have been. Which means I'm learning to recognize how certain people smell. And if something else reminds me of them because it smells similar, isn't' that a great thing? Oh also, I've been remembering how much I love the smell of grass, and dirt, and all things outside and summer related. Oh, heavenly. And the best thing about smell, it lingers. So you get to hold onto the memories for a just a little longer.

Sight: I think this may be the sense I've been the most lax at increasing my attention to. But, I have noted a few things. Shades. Of colors. That is a great thing. I've learned to pay more attention to them. which helps me appreciate more beauty. And one other thing I've noticed. Patterns etc, in nature. There are tons of them, and they have an amazing natural beauty that we sometimes forget to take note of. The other day I could have stared up through a tree's branches for hours, simply the patter with which the leaves are displayed was super awesome!

Okay, thanks to those of you who suffered through my ramblings about my sense adventures of late. Now go out and have some of your own, and contemplate how amazing God's power must be to give us the gift of all five senses. And realize what evidence that is of how much he loves us. He didn't' have to make this world beautiful for us either, but he did. Now really, go enjoy it!

Just Beeeee yourself

A very wise line from a classic Disney movie, and something I've been thinking about a lot lately. It's kind of been in the back of my mind for a while as an idea for a blog post, but last night I was reminded about the idea by the song Let My Be Myself by 3 Doors Down. Here are the lyrics for you (without the repeated chorus, etc):

I guess I just got lost
Bein' someone else
I tried to kill the pain
Nothin ever helped
I left myself behind
Somewhere along the way
Hopin to come back around
To find myself someday

Lately I'm so tired of waiting for you
To say that it's ok, but tell me
Please, would you one time
Just let me be myself
So I can shine with my own light
Let me be myself
Would you let me be myself

I'll never find my heart
Behind someone else
I'll never see the light of day
Living in this cell
It's time to make my way
Into the world I knew
Take back all of these times
That I gave in to you

This song just resonates with me because over the years I've come to realise that one of the most important things to do in life is to discover who you really are, and learn to love that person. But that's only part of what really makes life happy. Life can't be complete without other people in your life to love and care about, and to have them love and care about you. But you can't build true relationships on a lie. Which is why you have to be able to be yourself.

I've never been the type of person who was extremely popular or had a ton of friends. But I have always had a small group of close friends. And I've been happy with that. I had a conversation with one of my friends a few weeks ago. She told me that sometimes her real friends seem to end up being her fake friends, and the people she think are her fake friends turn out to be real friends. We were talking about why she would feel that way, and she talked about how she often lets the people dictate how she acts around them. We came to the conclusion that that fact was probably a source of the problem.

So then I started thinking about myself, and what I do with my friendships. I don't know when exactly I made the decision, I don't think I'd even realised that I had. But somewhere along the line I decided that I wasn't going to let the opinions of others dictate who I was. And for the most part, I haven't. And the result of that has been that I have some friendships that I know I can trust completely. They accept me for who I am and don't judge me for what I'm not. These are the kind of friends you can always count on. And I've slowly built my life to be full of such relationships, they are the source of joy in my life.

However, I have been unlucky enough to have some friendships that didn't fit that description. If you look back up at the lyrics from Let Me Be Myself, I really can relate to them. I had a close friendship that ended up going downhill, and I'm not even in contact with that friend anymore. I honestly am not sure of her reasons for not wanting my friendship anymore, but I did have to figure out my own reasons for being okay with losing her as a friend. And what it really came down to was that she wouldn't let my be who I really was, without feeling judged. And in the end that is what made the friendship unhealthy for me.

So, in conclusion my word of advice to you is to figure out who you are, love that person, and find friends who will also love that person, no matter what.

Home Sweet Home

So, I spent the last weekend with my family at our new house in Fruit Heights. And, I'm absolutely in love with it already. The house and the yard. They are fantastic. So, I took some pictures to share with you. I only have some of the yard and my room though, because nothing else was unpacked and cleaned enough that I felt pictures would do it justice. But, enjoy.
Looking out on the fountain

Our beautiful Day Lilies

Front Yard

My dad is in love with this globe willow

My family on our awesome deck

I am very excited about this window seat

The closet is awesome too

Eventually I'll get some more pictures of the house on here. As it is you should at least be able to appreciate the amazing yard that we have!

One more for my list, and maybe yours too

I'm addicted to music. I'm not very knowledgeable about it (I'm working on that) but I listen to a lot of it. But even more importantly I think, I actually try to listen to the lyrics of the songs I listen to. Some people don't do that, but I do. And I find a way to make them applicable to my life if that is at all possible. One of my favorite things to do is to find songs that I find inspiring, songs that can give me a lift when I'm having a bad day. I have a playlist on my computer just for these songs, and trust me, it helps me out tons on a bad day. One of my best sources of discovering songs like this is the fact that all I do at work is clean and listen to music. Well, a few weeks ago I discovered another great inspirational song and thought I'd share it and my thoughts about it, with all of you.

The song actually comes from the movie Spirit, the one about the horse. I've never actually seen it, but I have the music because Kiera had it, and I'd heard it was good. This is one of the Bryan Adams songs, and it's called Sound the Bugle. Here are the lyrics for you:

Sound the bugle now play it just for me
As the seasons change remember how I used to be
Now I can't go on I can't even start
I've got nothing left just an empty heart

I'm a soldier wounded so I must give up the fight
There's nothing more for me lead me away...
Or leave me lying here

Sound the bugle now tell them I don't care
There's not a road I know that leads to anywhere
Without a light I fear that I will stumble in the dark
Lay right down decide not to go on

Then from on high somewhere in the distance
There's a voice that calls remember who your are
If you lose yourself your courage soon will follow

So be strong tonight remember who you are
Yeah you're a soldier now fighting in a battle
To be free once more yeah that's worth fighting for

I don't know about the rest of you, but the lyrics to that song, especially the last two stanzas, really hit me quite hard. And when you put them to music, it's amazing, so you should all listen to the song sometime.

As if the song weren't already powerful enough, I started thinking about it from my point of view as a Latter Day Saint. So often I think life gets really hard on us, we make a mistake, or we just get tired and feel like we cant' go on anymore. We get to the point where we don't care about anything, and we don't want to go on anymore. But then, just like the song says, a voice comes. A voice from on high, begging us to remember who we are. Each one of us is a divine son or daughter of God, no heritage could ever be greater or more awe-inspiring. I believe that at the times when you truly understand and believe that heritage, you have the strength to do anything. But if you ever forget that, life gets too hard, and your courage disappears right along with that knowledge. But if you regain that knowledge and get back into the fight, eventually you'll find that everything you've found so hard in life has somehow gotten easier. You find yourself free of your doubts, fears, and discouragements. And then, as long as you keep listening to that voice from on high, you can face anything life throws your way.

That is what this song means for me. You can agree with me or interpret it as you will, but I wanted to give you the chance to pay attention to the lyrics. Hope you enjoyed them.