I Love My Job!

So, I switched shifts when Winter Semester ended and I now work nights. The hours aren't that amazing, but that is really the only draw back to my job. There are lots of things that I love about it. Just to name a few;

1. It pays pretty well, better than most campus jobs. That is a plus, especially considering that it really isn't a very hard or stressful job.

2. I get to carry keys that get me into locked doors. I won't lie, it makes me feel pretty powerful. Silly, I know. But true.

3. I get time to just think. It doesn't really require a whole lot of thought to sanitize phones and empty garbage cans. So, I get some time to just think, relax, and forget about everything that is all crazy and busy in my life.

4. I work with really awesome people. Just when I get tired of not talking to anyone at all, I get to work with someone else to finish off the shift. I've gotten to be pretty good friends with everyone I work with and we have a good time. They make me laugh everyday, and I look forward to going into work because I know who I get to work with.

5. My supervisor is awesome. He works with us. He randomly buys us drinks. He is more than a supervisor, he is a friend. I really enjoy working under him, because he cares about us and whether he are enjoying our work.

6. I work in the RB. Which happens to be where all the dancers practice. And I won't lie, I like seeing all the attractive guys who can dance.

7. My break gives me time to read, which is something I don't have a lot of anymore. It is a nice feeling.

Yep, those are just a few reasons I love my job. You should all be slightly jealous of me.

Movin' On

So, I have the tendency to get attached. Really attached, to people, places, objects, traditions, etc. It's part of my extremely emotional and sentimental personality, but the source doesn't really matter, you just need to know that it happens.

Which is why I potentially have a problem in my near future. Why? Because my parents just sold our house. We have lived there since I was ten. Of course I am attached! Anyone would be, but you know me, I get too attached. For the first time since I was five we are going to move to a new neighborhood. And I don't' know how I feel about that.

Half the time I get really sad. I have great memories in that neighborhood. When I was five we moved to Layton, and when we moved again when I was ten it was only around the block. So, basically most of my childhood memories are connected to that neighborhood. How am I supposed to be okay with moving away from that? I grew up in that house that we're leaving. Can I really be okay with just moving away and not looking back? I'm not really sure.

On the other hand, I already came to college. I already half left that house behind. And although now it won't be where I go back to on weekends, I'm not sure it will be that big of a difference. After this fall when I'm planning on being home till I leave on my mission, I wont' really be living at home anyway. In some ways I've already moved on from that house. And I can look back and realize that I can keep the good memories with me. And any of the bad ones I have, won't be forced upon me every time I'm in the same place they happened, because I won't be around anymore. So maybe I'm not too attached anymore. Maybe I am ready to move away and not look back.

I guess I'm still undecided on how I feel on this matter. I think I'll miss the house, but on the other hand, I'm kind of looking forward to a new adventure. When I know what house I'm moving to I'll let you all know about it! And how I feel about everything once it actually happens.

Some things I realized and or remembered this weekend...

For starters, I wrote this beautiful long entry I was extremely proud of, but then some of the new virus protection stuff I have on my computer led to it not getting posted. So now I'm kind of grumpy and you will get a summarized not as amazing entry. Don't blame me, blame the computer.

On to my realizations.

1. I love kids. I'm crazy about them. Sure I realize that they have moments where they are loud, obnoxious, annoying, rude, and so many other things. But that's really a result of the world we live in. Look at the younger children. They have this purity and innocence about them. You can't help but love them. Today at church I got to spend like ten minutes pulling faces at the little boy of the family sitting in front of us. It is so easy to make them smile! I love being home for church every once in a while because seeing the kids reminds me of where we come from, and where we can go. I can't wait to have children of my own, so that they can teach me that everyday. And that I can return the favor as they get older and help them make it back to the Father.

2. There are a lot people who have influenced my life and I am grateful for them. I saw my first grade teacher today(she goes to church in the same building as me). I always make sure to say hi and give her a hug when I see her. I love that she remembers me and always takes time to ask about my life. Her love when I was a student helped me to love school, which has directed my life a lot up to this point.
I also spent some time yesterday with some old friends. We don't get together a lot anymore, but when we do nothing has changed. They still know me, and love me for who I am. And I do the same for them. Their friendships and love have supported me through all of my hard times till now, and I wouldn't be who I am today without them.
Also today, I talked to my old YW president. I spent at least half of my years in YW under her direction and teaching, and she played a big part in who I am now. She taught us all that love is verb, and it requires action, not just words. She showed that to us as she loved each of us. She saw who I had the potential to become and she always believed in me. She taught me to have faith in my own dreams, and to strive to reach that potential. Today I realised that she still loves me, and as always is trying to help me strive to be everything I can be. I'm so grateful for all that she taught me.

3. I have been so blessed with my family. The other day my mom took me to the doctor(for my nasty cold, which is thankfully getting better). The nurse there was surprised to hear me refer to her as mom. She said we acted and spoke to each other more like we were friends. The truth is my mom IS my best friend. I probably spent more weekends with her in high school then I did with most of my friends, and I love that fact. I can talk to her about anything, and she is always there for me. I also spent a lot of time with my dad growing up, and although I'm a mamma's girl, I'm grateful that I am close to him too. Today we spent some time together while my mom was with my grandma. I love knowing that I can talk to him about life, and he can help me make decisions. And he always lets me know when he is proud of me. I love that my sister lives in Provo. I really want to spend more time with Sarah and Matt this summer, and I can't want to have a sweet little niece who is going to have the best mother ever. I love my brother. He and I are closer now than we have been for years. We talk about life with each other, and we've learned to accept our differences. I love going out to lunch or dinner with him and joking about how we both suck at the whole dating scene thing. I'm grateful that we're friends again, like we were back when he taught me to love matchbox cars.

4. I am happy. I am really truly happy. More so than I can ever recall being before. I know that I am doing what I'm supposed to right now, and I'm where I need to be. I love BYU, I love my ward, I love the friends I've made there. I have plans for my future and I'm excited for them. Life isn't perfect right now, but that doesn't mean I can't make the most of it. I have the gospel. I have people that love me. I have the world at my fingertips, and sure the world has been in better shape, but its still pretty amazing.

5. It is summer. And I want this summer to be different than any summer before. I want to enjoy the laziness less, and the adventures more. I want to read some classics. I want to laugh everyday. I want to make someone smile everyday. I want to try new things, to do something out of the ordinary. I want to discover who I am, and who I want to be. I want to immerse myself in the gospel and become more familiar with the scriptures. I want to improve the talents I known I have and discover new ones. I want to take some road trips. I want to spend more time in nature. I just want to do more with my life this summer. It is a goal of mine, and I will try to keep you updated on it.

Anyway, thanks for reading my shortened but still quite long blog entry. It may not be very organized, and I can't quite express all of my thoughts perfectly, but I wrote what came to me. The end.

No Place Like Home

Tonight Kiera and I are heading up to Layton for the three day weekend. I'm pretty excited because I realized I haven't spent an entire weekend there since Christmas break. However, part of me really doesn't want to go because weekends here in Provo are always so much fun. Thinking about this, and talking about it has caused me to ponder where exactly "Home" is for me right now, and what "Home" means to me. I feel just as attached to my pseudo "family" I have here in Provo (the 2nd Ward) as I am to my real family up in Layton now, and I hate spending time away from either of them. It's really quite a confusing feeling. So I guess this blog is half to figure it out. So, you can just put up with that. :)

I once wrote a personal essay about home, and what that means to me. (You can read it here) Although the piece is about a specific location, it also addresses the fact that what really makes it home for me is the people I associate with, and the feelings I feel there. I still feel that way. A house, or any location can't become a "home" unless there are people there you care about, and a feeling of love and belonging. It has to be somewhere that you feel peaceful, content, and such.

This is the exact thing that causes my dilemma. I have two places that do that for me. I guess I never thought before that it would be possible to have two homes, but I know now that it is. In fact, I am coming to believe that you can have an innumerable amount of homes. Places where you know you belong. For me, I still feel like I belong in Layton, with my family. Though I have to admit I am much less attached to it then I was not too long ago. My second home may not seem like home to many. The Villa isn't that amazing of a location to live, physically. It's kind of ugly, really quite old, and not elegant or amazing. But for me, it has also become home. It is home because of the people that have become a part of my life here. I love them, and I know they love me. I don't have to worry about what people think, this is where I belong because people accept me for who I am. And that is a wonderful feeling, that feeling is home.

So I'm pretty lucky. I have two homes. And yet, in a matter of months I'll be leaving them both. Or at least that is my plan. To go and serve a mission somewhere that is completely unknown to me. Sometimes I wonder why that desire is so strong for me when I hate leaving behind people I care about. I think its because I know I have a third home. One that I belong in even more than Layton or Provo. That is my heavenly home. And everyone has that home too, they just need to know how to find it. So that is why I'll be leaving. To help others learn how to find their way home. And hopefully that will help me on my own way there. Because I certainly love feeling like I am HOME.

Suggestions?

I have decided my blog titles(for this one and the one where I put my poems and such) are a little boring. They don't' feel creative enough to fit what I want them to be. Only problem is my creative juices are currently being used for a creative writing class. So....I'm having a hard time coming up with ideas. Got any suggestions? Most of you know me well enough I think you can come up with something that is more representative of me. Or give me some ideas that are a good place to start. And remember I need ideas for this blog and my other one which you can view here if you don't know the address.

P.S. I think by reading this you are obligated to leave at least one suggestion as a comment. It's my rule. :) Love you all and thanks!

Update

I made up my mind.
I'm staying.
And couldnt' be happier.

What To do, what to do?

So, I had a plan. The plan was to stay Spring, go home Summer, and stay home till I went on a mission. This way I could find a good steady job at home till I left, and get to work on my papers in my home ward.

But, this last week I was thinking. I love my life right now. I love where I am and the people here. My ward is amazing, and I know I love it more than any ward I'd attend back home(no offense to anyone in Layton) I realised that I just don't want to leave as much as I thought I would.

Then today I got a new calling. A calling that I am more excited for than any I've ever had before, ever. I don't want to only have it for a few weeks. That doesn't even give me time to settle into it, really get to work and make a difference!

So I guess I'm going to be thinking really hard this week. I know I could be happy here or at home. But I need to decide where I NEED to be. So, keep my in your prayers, because this is a serious decision. And if you have any advice feel free to share it with me.

Happy Mother's Day!

So, I guess this post is kind of to wish my Mom, and all the other mothers out there a Happy Mother's Day. But I also want to share some of the reasons I love my mom, and things that she has taught me.

1. Selflessness and Christ Like Love
My mom is one of the sweetest most loving people I know. She rarely sees the bad in a person, and is always seeing the good. She gives so much of herself to serve those around her, especially her family, and without a doubt her kids. I know that she would do anything for me that was in her power, as long as it wasn't wrong. I wish I was more like her in this way, and I admire her for this more than I could ever express.

2. Best Friend
A lot of girls say that their mom is their best friend, but I doubt many of them spent as much time with their mom as I did during high school. I spent a lot of my weekend with mom, and I don't regret it at all. I tell her anything and everything, so much so that everyone here at college thinks I'm crazy. But I do it because I miss having her in my life, and I know she loves me no matter what. My mom makes me happy, she makes me smile, and she has always been a shoulder to cry on. She really is my best friend, and I can talk to her about anything.

3. Hard Work
My mom is a hard worker, and helps support my family. But not only that, she works hard to become a better person emotionally and spiritually as well. I've watched her hard work pay off as she has been able to grow as a person, and I am proud of her for that. She has taught me to never give up, and to help those around you as they do the same.

Those are just my top three that I could name. There are so many other reasons I love my mom. Like the fact that she'll sing my favorite lullaby to me even now, just because I've had a bad day. Or how she'll take time out of getting ready for the day to make me eggs for breakfast. I love that she calls me almost every day just to talk for a minute and see how my day is going. I love getting slurpees with her and finding great deals on clothes.

There are so many things about my mom that make her amazing. I know nobody is perfect, but I think my mom comes pretty close, and I wouldn't wish for a mom that was any different.

Mom, you will always be my MOMMY, and I love you. Happy Mother's Day!

I'm Confused

It is 1:22 A.M. and I am exhausted.
Why is this confusing? Because yesterday at 1:45ish I was laying in my bed trying fall asleep and not feeling tired at all.

Aren't you supposed to want to stay up later on weekends?
I don't get it. I haven't felt dead tired after work any day this week, and now I do?
Does that make sense to any of you? It doesn't to me.

One more

One more simple pleasure for the list, I experienced it for the first time today:

I felt my niece kick! It was awesome!!!!!! I cant' wait for her to arrive.

Simple Pleasures

Just a list of SOME of the small things in life that make me happy

The sound of wind blowing past my ears
Dilly Bars with Sarah
The smell of lilac bushes
Snail trails on the sidewalk
Sunsets
Sunrises over the mountains
The smell of rain
Making an infant smile
Reading on a blanket in the sun
Jumping in leaf piles
Finding the perfect song for your mood
Grandpa's fudge
Reading a good book
Wearing flip flops for the first time after winter
Rolly Pollies
Lullabies from my childhood
My favorite stuffed animal Flower
My Blankey
Visiting Herriman on Memorial Day
Inside Jokes
Knowing somebody means it when they say they love me
The first hug I get from my mom when I'm home for a weekend
The smell of freshly cut grass
Hearing the birds in the morning
Sleeping in a newly made bed
The feel of clothes fresh from the dryer
The smell of a new book
Reading an old favorite
Old journal entries
Looking at old pictures
Letters in the mail
Playing croquette(I never remember how to spell it)
Songs from Man From Snowy River
the Forrest Gump Suite
Icy cold water
Swimming
Laughing till your sides ache
The silence of snow
Driving with the windows down and the music turned up
Stars
Swinging
Sunglasses
Playing night games at Grandma and Grandpa's
Libraries
Primary Songs
Bagpipe music
Sounds of a creek or river
Temples
Lifelong Friends
Roommates
Cookie Dough
A good sale on something you really want
Knowing somebody cares enough to miss you
Hugs
Poetry
Watching the seasons change
Keeping Traditions
Playing the Piano

and so many more, I think I could go on an on for as long as you let me think. Every once in a while it is such a good thing for me to think about the simple things in life. Or as Nephi calls them, God's Tender Mercies. I hope my list has made you think of some of your own, and made you day just a little better.

New Shift

By the way.
I started a new shift at work.
7pm-1m Sunday-Thursday.
That's right.

That would also be the reason why I am up after 12 without feeling tired at all. It's great. Sometimes.

Also. Women's Conference:
Not my favorite thing.
Wednesday night I set up for them.
Thursday I got to take it all down.
Which resulted in a lovely bruise on my foot.
Bigger than a quarter.
It was beautiful.
But it hurt.
Stupid Women's Conference.

Oh. Racquetball courts.
Also not my favorite.
I clean them.
They have small doors.
You have to duck to get in.
My back hurts from this.

I also clean offices.
And dance rooms.
One has a picture.
Of my attractive dance T.A.
Maybe a good thing.
Maybe not.
You decide.

That's all.

I Ain't Missin You At All...well actually I am.

So, today I was thinking about how there are a lot of people that I really miss right now. I hate missing people. It's usually a constant emotion for me, with half of my family living across the country, but I've never gotten so used to it that it doesn't hurt. There are so many very important people in my life that I miss right now, and even though I have some contact with most of them, its still hard.

But just now, I had a thought. Although missing people isn't fun, I should appreciate it. Why do I miss so many people? Because I love them and care about them. Because I miss having them around because they love me and care about me. If there wasn't anybody to miss, that would mean that I didn't' have anybody to love. Today I watched a movie about a woman who had never really learned how to let anybody love her, and love them in return. At least not really. Sometimes I haven't always had the easiest time trusting people with my love, and trusting their love, but I'm better at it then she was. And I'm so grateful for that. Because, loving and being loved in return, that is what gives my life meaning. Lately a lot of you have heard me say that I sometimes wish I didn't' care, because then I wouldn't' be hurt so often. But deep down, I don't' really mean that. Because if you're not willing to be hurt, you're not willing to love, and love is what brings happiness to me. You can't have one without the other.

So today I'm taking a stand against the depression I get when I think of all the people I miss. Sure, I don't get to see a lot of people that I wish I could see. But today I'm grateful to miss them. Grateful that I have so many people in my life that I care about and that care about me. And even though I may never see some of the people I miss ever again, even though I may go on missing them for years, that's okay with me. Because the meaning that loving them gave to my life was worth it.

So,to any of you who may be out there missing me; I miss you too. But that's okay, because love is worth it, and I love you. So think of the good times, forget about missing me, and get out there and find more people to love.!