Okay friends, I know I have already shared some of my weight loss goals/journey with you, but I've decided to open myself up to you even further. Weight Watchers is working for me, but I had a couple of weeks where I stopped trying as hard, and even not counting those weeks, the weight loss isn't happening quite as fast as I want. I understand that if you want the weight to stay off, you have to lose it as a healthy weight. But I would love to be losing 2lb a week (WW recommends .5-2 a week) every week, instead of the .8 here or 1.6 there that I've been losing. Any loss is great, but I want to push myself a little harder.
Which is in part, where you come in. I don't know the people at my meeting, and none of them really know what weight I started at and what my goal(s) are. But I do know you, and I want you to know what my goals are so that I can be held accountable by the people I know really care about me. So, starting this week, there will be another page on this blog titled "My Weight Loss" where I will keep track of how much I've lost and what goals I am working towards. I don't know what all will end up there, but I want somewhere to keep track of these things where I won't be the only person to ever see it. I used to think by doing this I might open myself up to judgment. But the truth is, most of you won't be judging me for my highest weight, or if I have a bad week. Instead you'll just be cheering me on and motivating me to reach my goals, and I've decided I need that. Plus, I've realized that I can let go of my shame about being overweight, because guess what, I am working HARD to change that. And the fact that I finally admitted that something needed to be done and starting actually doing it...that is something I have every right to be really proud of. I am still really self-conscious about my weight. The thought of you all knowing what my starting weigh at weight watchers was is an unpleasant one to me, but I feel like it can help me to never get back to that point again.
Another way I'm motivating myself to do better is to challenge myself. I know I already set one goal for the summer, to reach my 10% goal by labor day. Sadly, I don't think I'll be reaching that goal (we'll see, I might, but it's doubtful) and I don’t want that failure to hold me back or keep me from making new goals. So I've already picked a new goal to start working on. I want to be at or below 200 pounds by my birthday, November 30. I have about 27 pounds to go to reach that point, and just over 16 weeks to do it in. That means I will need to be losing an average of 1.69 pounds a week. It won't be easy, but I really believe I can do it. Especially if you will all support me and push me to reach this goal. It was really hard on my self-esteem when I reached 200 in my weight gain, but it wasn't enough to make me finally change how I was living. I'm hoping that when I reach it going in the other direction, it will be a great boost of confidence to keep me going in the right direction.
Thank you so much for the support you've already offered me as I've worked to improve my life in this manner, and thank you in advance for the support I know you'll continue to offer.
5th Grade Graduation
9 hours ago
8 comments:
I'm impressed, Lydia! It's hard to trust that people close to you to not judge, and support you; but you're absolutely right -- we won't judge, we'll do everything we can to help you, we love you.
But I know how hard that step can be. For me, the point of shame in my life is how long college is taking me. If it helps, just think about how you feel about me still working on my degree. I hope at least, that you don't feel loathing towards me, or think I'm stupid for taking so long... You just want me to finish because that will help improve my life, and that's how I (we all) feel towards you as well.
Best of luck on your 10% goal!
Lydia, you are AMAZING! What you are doing is SO hard and you're doing a great job! I gained way too much when I had Nikolai and I've been trying to lose the rest of it these last few months and it's the hardest thing I've ever done! Changing your eating habits is really hard, especially when you're stressed. But you can do it!
You are wonderful Lydia. I hope you can learn to enjoy the journey (because it is hard) and have fun living a healthier lifestyle! You can do it! And I know you will feel so much better. All this hard work and effort is worth it, in so many aspects of your life.
Ditto what Kyle said. :) We absolutely do want to cheer you on and see you succeed. I've always kindof avoided asking about big goals like that, because I know how it bugs me when yet another person asks Kyle "are you graduated YET?" so I may not be good helping with the following up accountability part, but it's been fun to hear you tell us how your week went and how much you swam that week and things like that, and I hope that helps you too.
A couple things you might be interested in checking out: My friend April has a website called Make Fat Cry (and associated facebook group) at www.makefatcry.com and it's a place to find motivation, check it out!
It really touched me because she has a quote that says "Inside your chest beats the heart of an athlete." That's how I feel about you Lydia. You may be heavier than you've ever been (well not anymore, yay!) and feel awful and wimpy and heavy, but inside YOUR chest beats the heart of an athlete. You are a swimmer, an athlete, and you can do hard things! I'm proud of you.
The other random idea is, have you thought about using a blog ticker to track your weight loss goal? I'm not sure how it works (since I just use the birthday tickers) but I know that TickerFactory.com has a lot of options, and they have a weight loss ticker tracker thingy. You know, as a quick visual :) You could make an overall goal ticker, or a "lose X by Nov 30th" ticker or some such.
Go Lydia! Go!! You CAN reach the goals! and if by some chance you don't, you will still feel satisfied knowing you worked hard. I am so proud of you and am really impressed. You are willing to really work for and take seriously a change in your life. I look up to you for that! It makes me realize that those things I need to change in my life CAN be changed! I just need to do it! SO thanks for inspiring me girl =) I'm cheering you on!
i'm here cheering you on! you're doing great, that is so good to set a goal and try to achieve it, we all have things we want to change. you can do it!
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