How lucky I am to be a member of
the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and to spend this weekend listening to our prophet and other church leaders give us counsel from the Lord. I didn't pay as much attention as I should have or wanted to, but I'm looking forward to the Conference Ensign so I can read all of the talks over again.
A lot of the time I think I'm doing really good at healing from things I've gone through in the past and finally gaining a healthy amount of self-confidence. Then I get on a down slope, usually for no reason that I can think of, and start feeling really bad about myself again.
Lately I think that's because I worry about what I'm doing with my life. Do I have enough purpose in my life? I need to find a job in the next month since I'm graduating and all, but I can't seem to find very much passion for an editing job in my heart. Sometimes I worry that I'm not passionate about anything, at least not passionate enough. Sometimes I feel like I must be the most boring person in the world.
One day last week I was bored/avoiding writing a paper, and I was reading my
writing blog and thinking that I was decent writer and I wish I would have kept it up instead of hardly writing when I didn't have a class that gave me a reason to write. But that brings me back to the whole passion thing. I generally wrote about things I was going through, trying to get over, about family members, etc. And I don't know what I care enough right now to write about...hmmmm. Dilemma. Somebody should tell me something to write about.
Kids are adorable. But, I'm not saying I want one yet. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever feel ready to be a mom. Moms amaze me. Especially mine. And my sister. And they're kids are amazing(not biased at all). Evelyn is the most entertaining kid to be around, and she is so smart! I love watching her learn something new every day I see her! I'm so proud to be her aunt. And Leah is the sweetest little baby ever! I know all babies are that, but really, Leah is!
Next weekend I'm going up with Sarah for girl's weekend at my parents. I'm so excited! Because I get to spend it with those girls I was talking about above. And I don't just mean the little ones, but those amazing moms too! And, my soon to be sister-in-law! That's right, David and Sheridan set a temple date. Though that slow-poke still needs to give her a ring. But I'm super excited for them! (Hope I'm allowed to tell people about this, if not, Shhh)
Finally, I have an amazing husband! He has put up with everything I've thrown his way and never stopped loving me. He always puts my happiness first, and that means to much to me!
I may not have everything I want, or even know what all I want, but I am truly blessed.